10-day countdown begins
Friday, July 14, 2006
So what's so special about my birthday this year to deserve a 10-day countdown?

The fact that this is my first birthday as a married woman? My pregnancy? That fact that I had to reformat my office PC two times within just a week? It's payday Friday today?

No special reason, actually. I just felt like having a 10-day countdown to the day that marks my 26th year of existence...

In fact, I have no idea what to mark on each countdown day. Oh well, I'll make it up as I go.

Let the countdown begin...


#10 - Tribute to Mommy Val

Is it possible to miss someone you've never met, talked to, or spent time with?

You only hear stories about that person. Probably someone close to somebody else's heart. You are amazed by this person's grandeur, as described by another individual, you wonder if he or she is too good to be true.

But you know that person is real. Or was real. As you hear more about that person, you start wishing to be with that person. You long for him/her.

You begin to love that person.

Then you feel sorry for yourself for not being able to witness the existence of such wonderful being. You miss that person.

That's how I feel for Mommy Val, Mr. Frost's mom.

I never met her. She passed away years before Mr. Frost and I even met. Mr. Frost always tells me that Mommy and I would have really gotten along if she was still here because we have similar personalities. He said we're both "bakla" and "koboy." If I remember correctly, the word he used was "siraulo."

When we were still dating, Mr. Frost would talk about how Mommy raised them up on her own. Mr. Frost grew up apart from his father but he never got jealous of his friends who had "father figures" because Mommy played the part real well.

When we were preparing for the wedding, Mr. Frost and I would talk about how Mommy would have made things easier for us. How she would have loved my gown. How "taray" her own gown would be.

Now that we are having Baby Frost, we can't help but talk about how we plan to raise him. We talk about how our own parents brought us up. Of course, when it's Mr. Frost's turn to talk about how Mommy "manipulated" him into thinking he got everything he wanted, we get excited because we can't wait to try those tactics on Baby Frost.

Seriously, when those talks come up, my longing to meet Mommy Val deepens. I know the only chance I can meet her is on another life, but it doesn't feel that way for me. Sometimes I feel that she's just someplace else, that we'll meet someday. And when I realize that it ain't gonna happen, I feel sorry for myself.

And why do I want to meet her so bad?

To thank her for raising Mr. Frost up the way she did. To congratulate her for a "job well done." To hug her and express my gratitude for giving life to such a wonderful man.

Oh well. I guess I'll just have to wait for the next life.

Mommy, you raised three wonderful children. You may not be here, but I feel your existence come to life through them.

We met only in my dreams, Mommy, and in those dreams, we had lots of fun. Making fun of Keith, cooking together, playing with Baby. Wherever you are, know that I cherish those dreams. I miss those dreams, I long for them... The only time when we can be together, the only place where we can meet.

Wherever you are, even if we've never really met, know that I have learned to treasure you nearly as much as your children do.

I love you, Mommy.
's thoughts were ambushed at 11:32 PM

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