Problems adults have
Friday, August 05, 2005
I was supposed to continue my story about Papa's call to Mr. Frost, but I can't bring myself to do it right now when there's something clouding my mind.

I like what I'm doing at my new work. I think I'm starting to love it. It's events mangament, for Pete's sake! (I suddenly wondered how Pete is. Heheheh.) Before I got on board, I was asked if I'm okay with a Monday-to-Saturday schedule. I said "Yes," because I wanted to impress them (I know it was wrong but I was so desperate to get a job at that very minute! Hit me if you want). I told myself, "Okay, that's just a little sacrifice. You need the job, so go and get it." The pay isn't that big, but I still took it because (how many times do I have to say this?) I needed the job.

It's a start-up company, so I anticipated that I'll hit the ground running. There's a loooooot of work to be done in a start-up company.

I imagine Roselle saying, "AT! AT! AT!" at this part.

The first week came and went. Everything was fine. Enter second week. My work week isn't over till tomorrow, Saturday, but so far, we already had 3 last-minute meetings that started a few minutes before going home and lasted AT LEAST 2 hours. I should be happy, because that means overtime, but no, we don't have OT pay so...

"AT! AT! AT!" Roselle goes again.

My ento's fitting was scheduled originally on Saturday, 06Aug, but since I can't get off work on my second week, we moved it to Sunday, 07Aug. Today, I called a client to confirm our interview schedule. He told me that since we're shooting on Sunday, we might as well have the interview afterwards. I was crushed. No, I was devastated. I'm the project manager for this particular project so I'm supposed to be present at the shooting, but I was kinda hoping I could get off from that. Now I'm hoping against hope that my ento won't kill me for changing the fitting sked on such short notice.

Roselle would then say here, ITO ANG KILLER!

I, then, realized this won't be the last time I have to work on a Sunday. This job is not for a person who has a family. This job is for a single person who's NOT planning to get married and start a family in a few months.

I am not blaming my boss or the company for f*cking up my mind. This is a start-up company, and I understand that to hit big, eveyone in it has to work real hard and give their everything to their job. I understand that it is normal to have work till 10pm AND weekends on a regular basis.

If this job came to me about a year ago, I wouldn't have cared. I'd do it in a snap of a finger. I wouldn't be having this problem.

Obviously, Mr Forst and I are getting married on December 3 of this year. That's about a little less than 5 months from now. I wanted to use that 5 months to spend more time with family I grew up with before starting my own. I wanted to spend more time with Papa and try to make up for the time we lost a couple of years back.

I realize that I can't do that if I'm in this job.

My mind is set on my long-term plans. Family is very important to me. Family comes first. If I have to work my ass off on weekdays, it's okay, as long as I have the weekend to look forward to and spend quality time with my family. I don't want my child to grow up like the others who know their moms only by name and picture. Somebody has to raise my child, I want that somebody to be me, not his or her yaya or granparents.

I realize that I can't do that if I'm in this job.

"So why don't you just quit? You've just started, it's not as if you've put so much already in the company," some of you might say.

I repeat my statement on the second paragraph of this entry, I like what I'm doing at my new work. I think I'm starting to love it. I want to see this start-up company succeed. I see it's potential to fly, and I wanna be there when that happens. That's the reason why I'm having this problem.

If I don't like this job, I wouldn't even be wasting your time with this entry. I would have quit yesterday. Or even last week, as Mr. Frost absolutely knows.

Besides, looking for a job isn't that easy nowadays,as many of you most definitely know.

Discussing this with my boss is not an option. I don't think he's the kind of person who understand the meaning of "FAMILY." Trust me on this.

I wish I was a child again, with nothing to decide on but what dolls to play with or which candy to eat. But if I were still a child, I wouldn't be with Mr. Frost. I won't be sharing this wonderful love with him. I wouldn't be this happy, generally speaking.

If Mr. Frost isn't in my life, I would say that being an adult sucks big time! But then again, if Mr. Frost isn't in my life, then I wouldn't be having this problem because I won't have my future to think about.

's thoughts were ambushed at 10:28 PM

6 wisecracks:

  • At 11:16 PM, Anonymous Ana's ambushed thoughts were:

    Hello. fellow w@wie here bloghopping. I emphatise with you on this...
    But work is just work. You'll never look back on your life and regret not having given that much time to your career. You know your priorities. Now you just have to stand up for it. Resign if you have to. But make your point before you leave. Bosses need to know that people who work for them have a life outside the company and they need to respect that.

  • At 11:41 PM, Blogger Irvin & Faye's ambushed thoughts were:

    hi, meng! i know it's not easy to be in your situation but sometimes we have to make a choice. having said how much you value your family, you already answered it for yourself. the only issue is if you're willing to sacrifice what you like doing. a family is a family no matter what. you can surely find a new job that you'll also like. good luck!

  • At 2:31 AM, Blogger shalaganda's ambushed thoughts were:

    torn between 2 priorities ka, ganon? my opinion? stick with the job knowing how hard it was for u to find it after letting go of your former job. do what you have to do. it's rare to find a job that you love. your family will always be there. it's not like you'll leave them when u get married to keith. they'll be there unless you disown them. keith will not hinder u bond with your family(di ba, keith?) instead, your family will be having keith and isn't it fun to see your papa and your husband bonding infront of the tv(with keith holding the remote) on ALIAS night or AMERICAN IDOL night? kids...worry about them when you get them...for now, stay glowing for your wedding and energetic for your new job...

  • At 10:20 AM, Blogger cHaRiE's ambushed thoughts were:

    pink! didn't know you were into so much especially now that you've got a new job and a great love (haven't met him yet though)....sorry for not being there to talk 'bout's the thing, you know what you want and it's all that matters! sure it's hard to get a job nowadays but hey! there's always a job available for a more-than-just talented woman like you...i'm not implying that you quit your job...maybe it's just a phase you're going through right now, maybe you're just overwhelmed with all the events happening in your life, or maybe they're just too much for you right now...i say sit back and try looking in your life with a different perspective...not with the so-tired and so-sick-with-this-shit attitude but with an objective one...i too had to undergo the same thing(with work in a call center and being a mom with maki)...but i was able to cope and surely you would're strong and i believe you'll pass through this...

    tama na nga ingles! puta naman kasi mare hindi ikaw yan eh! meng ano ka ba?!? bangon nga! go wake yourself up! alam mo kung anong dapat gawin and you know you're way outta this mess (ay syet english na naman!)...isipin mo na lang kunyari nagtethesis pa tayo kung gaano tayo kangarag nun, plus projects pa and shootings din...pero diba nakagraduate naman tayo? dadaanan mo lang lahat pero di ka dapat masira ng dahil sa mga nangyayari ngayon...papangit ka sige ikakasal ka pa naman...

    nga pala,langya ka kundi ko pa nabasa mga postings mo i wouldn't know na ikakasal ka na! well anyways, keep me posted kung ano na mangyayari sa susunod na kabanata ha...lam mo ganto na lang, magkita tayo tapos iyakan tayo like before...baka pagkatapos nun ok ka na...dito pa rin ako, hintay lang kita ok...

  • At 12:00 PM, Blogger simon-jacque's ambushed thoughts were:

    hi f.r.i.e.n.d! naku, i did'nt know that it's this big. kala ko confused ka lang or something. anyway, advice ko lang is to weigh things. i know family is your priority. if you love the job, im sure you'll find a "better" job for you that will not sacrifice the time you have for your family. pero in fairness, allot one more month kung kaya para you can really figure out if it will work or not. God bless.

  • At 6:19 PM, Blogger Leah's ambushed thoughts were:

    hi meng.

    i hope everything works out for you. but like what mec said, something's gotta give. can't have the best of both worlds. keep praying though.

    good luck! :)