I have a realization to proclaim.

I am bad in making speeches.

Scratch that.

I HAVE TROUBLE COMMUNICATING MY THOUGHTS VERBALLY.

Back in college, I wrote a great speech for my Public Speaking class. When I got on the podium to deliver it, I sounded like an idiot and I don't think anybody got my message.

As the maid of honor, I was asked to say something to my bestfriend during her wedding a couple of weeks back, and again, I sounded like a brainless git.

I wrote and memorized the perfect wedding vow for Mr. Frost. When it was time to decalre my undying love in the form of that vow, I faltered and embarassed myself. In one of my posts last March, I said it was Mr. Frost's brain-freezing vow that made me stammer and mess up my own vow.

But the truth is, I am bad at speaking. Whether in a room with more that 5 people in it or when I'm doing something as simple as telling a story or a joke. I always end up embarassing myself.

For years, I denied this fact. I kept on telling myself that I am good, shit just happens.

It's only recently that I was able to accept that my mantra "I make things happen" applies to every single thing that occurs in my life. If shit happened, there's no one to point the blaming finger at but me.

But hey, with that, I can now put into practice another belief of mine, "Acceptance is the key to recovery." I have accepted that I suck. Next step is, become better. At sucking.

Hey, if I'm gonna fail, at least I'll be good at it. If I'm gonna fall flat on my face, at least I'm gonna screw up with flair and grace.

I'm not making any sense, am I?

Oh well. That's my rant/thought for the day.