Your favorite girl sucks.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
(Note: This post was written last Saturday, February 18, 2006. Why I posted this just now will be explained later.)
I suck.
I know what you're thinking. I've been away from my journal too long and this is the welome it gets. Not fair.
But then again, what's fair in this mortal plane?
You work your ass off on something you really love doing, and just when you think you've become so good at it, somebody comes along and makes you feel like an amateur.
I feel that way on two aspects of my life: one is my passion, and the other thing I enjoy so much.
I stop enjoying when I lose too often for comfort. And to think that if you really consider it, I am just a novice in what I take pleasure in. When that happens, like it always does, I become a terrible person to be with. And I hate that. So, to stop being a terrible, as a person and at the thing I enjoy, I don't try and get better; I stop doing it. Pathetic.
I lose faith when I make a mistake at what I love. My self-esteem takes a nose dive and my self-confidence makes a disappearing act. When that happens, I try too hard, get worse, and make more mistakes. Then I become a terrible person to be with. How shameful.
I probably should just quit doing them, but the Goddess won't let me. She dictates that I go ahead and continue trying to get better. And who am I to disobey?
The Goddess dedicates her life to running all of mine. And absolute obedience is the most sensible thing to do in return.
After all, the Goddess isn't called as such for nothing. Maybe, someday, SOMEDAY, the Goddess will finally be able to triumph over our advesaries and take control of this mortal plane.
Okay, back to reality then.
I suck.
I know what you're thinking. I've been away from my journal too long and this is the welome it gets. Not fair.
But then again, what's fair in this mortal plane?
You work your ass off on something you really love doing, and just when you think you've become so good at it, somebody comes along and makes you feel like an amateur.
I feel that way on two aspects of my life: one is my passion, and the other thing I enjoy so much.
I stop enjoying when I lose too often for comfort. And to think that if you really consider it, I am just a novice in what I take pleasure in. When that happens, like it always does, I become a terrible person to be with. And I hate that. So, to stop being a terrible, as a person and at the thing I enjoy, I don't try and get better; I stop doing it. Pathetic.
I lose faith when I make a mistake at what I love. My self-esteem takes a nose dive and my self-confidence makes a disappearing act. When that happens, I try too hard, get worse, and make more mistakes. Then I become a terrible person to be with. How shameful.
I probably should just quit doing them, but the Goddess won't let me. She dictates that I go ahead and continue trying to get better. And who am I to disobey?
The Goddess dedicates her life to running all of mine. And absolute obedience is the most sensible thing to do in return.
After all, the Goddess isn't called as such for nothing. Maybe, someday, SOMEDAY, the Goddess will finally be able to triumph over our advesaries and take control of this mortal plane.
Okay, back to reality then.
's thoughts
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