Message to my pregnant self
Friday, June 02, 2006
I read everywhere that being moody is perfectly normal for pregnant women. And most of the time, you are not aware of your mood swings. You feel you are acting normal, but in truth, you are being the world's biggest bitch. Unless, of course, if you are normally that bad.
Even if you are aware of your mood swings, you can't stop yourself from being an occasional (or for some women, regular) witch. You know you are being a pain in the ass, but you feel the need to release the anger, angst, or whatever it is you feel when you're moody. Releasing your emotions, however negative they may be, makes you feel better. Or make you think you feel better.
You know you're being irrational, but you just can't bring yourself to give in to what the other person is saying because you HAVE to have your way. So what if you make a living hell out of somebody's life? You don't care as long as you get things done your way. Having everything done your way makes you feel better. Or makes you think you feel better.
You know you're being a burden to somebody, but instead of easing up, you can't stop yourself from making things worse for that person. You don't give a flying crap as to what others feel when you're around. So what if you're taking people for granted? Only your feelings matter. And thinking that makes you feel better. Or make you think you feel better.
And that's depressing. Causing irreparable damage without meaning to. Being a pain in the ass without even knowing it. And when you do become aware of it, you can't stop yourself from letting it happen.
I think something about being pregnant requires a woman to be a prima donna. Being the world's purest and kindest soul cannot save you from the "curse." Forgive me if my comparison seems disrespectful, but I’m sure even Virgin Mary had her own of share of attitude while carrying the Heavenly Body.
People who must or wish to be with you on a regular basis must understand that unless they have mastered the virtue of patience and understanding, they would not be able to withstand your special powers of darkness.
But don't worry about it. You already have enough on your plate to be bothered by your mood swings driving other people crazy. If, for a minute, your hormones got the better of you and made you walk all over somebody, make up by apologizing as soon as you realize what you have done. Like you always do.
Even if you are aware of your mood swings, you can't stop yourself from being an occasional (or for some women, regular) witch. You know you are being a pain in the ass, but you feel the need to release the anger, angst, or whatever it is you feel when you're moody. Releasing your emotions, however negative they may be, makes you feel better. Or make you think you feel better.
You know you're being irrational, but you just can't bring yourself to give in to what the other person is saying because you HAVE to have your way. So what if you make a living hell out of somebody's life? You don't care as long as you get things done your way. Having everything done your way makes you feel better. Or makes you think you feel better.
You know you're being a burden to somebody, but instead of easing up, you can't stop yourself from making things worse for that person. You don't give a flying crap as to what others feel when you're around. So what if you're taking people for granted? Only your feelings matter. And thinking that makes you feel better. Or make you think you feel better.
And that's depressing. Causing irreparable damage without meaning to. Being a pain in the ass without even knowing it. And when you do become aware of it, you can't stop yourself from letting it happen.
I think something about being pregnant requires a woman to be a prima donna. Being the world's purest and kindest soul cannot save you from the "curse." Forgive me if my comparison seems disrespectful, but I’m sure even Virgin Mary had her own of share of attitude while carrying the Heavenly Body.
People who must or wish to be with you on a regular basis must understand that unless they have mastered the virtue of patience and understanding, they would not be able to withstand your special powers of darkness.
But don't worry about it. You already have enough on your plate to be bothered by your mood swings driving other people crazy. If, for a minute, your hormones got the better of you and made you walk all over somebody, make up by apologizing as soon as you realize what you have done. Like you always do.